So, after riding high for a few days, I'm having trouble again today. My wife and I were talking last night, and she hasn't been dealing with things as well as I have. She worries that this won't be enough for me, and that I'll need to transition, and she'll have to leave me because she's into guys. I haven't been able to soothe her fears. Even though I don't feel like I need to transition now, I don't feel like I could promise I wouldn't ever feel that way. After all, I like the idea of being a girl, I just don't want the pain and collateral damage it would cause.
Strangely enough, it never really dawned on me that she'd leave me because of that. When I considered how I'd feel if the situation were reversed, I just thought I'd be gay and love boy-Wife. It isn't fair of me to expect that she could change her sexual orientation to be with girl-Me, just as she doesn't expect me to choose my gender identity. I feel bad for being so selfish about that now.
We talked for a long time, and I cried more than I have in years. I think my crying made her feel better, in a way. I'm usually kinda emotionless, and she's a worrier, so I think me worrying about things helped validate her worries.
It's been a few days since I started this post, and things have changed again in the meantime. I just wanted to write everything out about that point in time before I continued. Being able to write everything out has really helped me think through and articulate a lot of this stuff. Anyhow, I'm feeling better, my wife and I are taking this on in a slightly different way, and I'll update again when I get a chance.