Sunday, November 21, 2010


It's rare that I dream, or at least rare that I remember them.  I like to believe in the Emotional Selection theory of why we dream, which is basically that it's a way for our brain to play out situations and test emotional responses to them and judge if they are appropriate.  I think in general, I've had things figured out for a while (my gender identity being a notable exception), and that there aren't many new situations I may encounter and not be prepared to handle, and that's related to my lack of dream recall.

But last night I dreamed as a girl.  I was at some fancy country club type place, outdoors, and there were some people gambling over a shuffleboard type game.  I had walked toward the end of the grassy alley where the rolled balls were landing, and a red one stopped by my foot, and got people in an uproar.  That's it. /shrug

My wife went out drinking with friends last night until 2:00a while I stayed home and watched the kids.  We had all kinds of drunken sex last night when she arrived home, which was very nice.  We had a brief (~ 4 days) hiatus from sex after I came out.  Both of us were just not feeling very comfortable with each other and situation, but I'm happy to report that's subsiding.  My worries that she would stop loving me or wanting to be with me are gone, as long as I live by the limits we set (this shouldn't affect job/kids, and that I don't permanently lose the guy traits that she loves), which are both things that I want too.  I think that her worries are going away too.  I'm starting to honestly feel like this is an enhancement to my life, rather than a detriment.

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