Friday, November 12, 2010

Last Post...

Well.. this was a short blog.

I was just discovering my feelings when I started this blog a week or so ago.  I felt like I had enough acceptance from my wife to explore and figure out what was going on.  To be blunt, my wife changed her mind.  She isn't accepting of my crossdressing and is worried of what it will lead to.  She mentioned divorce.

While I'd love to figure out what's going on, I think I must just keep everything repressed.  I have a wonderful life, and more success in life, work, and home than anyone could rightfully deserve.  I don't feel it's right for me to bring such difficulty into the lives of my wife and kids.

I've been doing a lot of reading on gender identity disorder, and blogs of transgender people that are all much braver than I.  I read people's stories, and was able to identify with lots of anecdotes and feelings.  I think if I was braver and could explore my feelings more, ...

I'm sad that I'll never find out what the end of that sentence is.  But please don't be sad for me.  Just continue to fight vehemently for LBGT causes.  Fight, so that the stigmas attached are not such a burden, and that others will be able to come out.

Thank you for reading.  This has been a short journey for me, but it was an emotional and impactful one.   I've definitely changed along the way, for the better.  I have so much love and respect for those going through this difficult journey (esp. Jerica Truax, who resonated with me in so many ways, and made me feel so hopeful through this tough time).  I haven't always been as respectful and tolerant of others, and I'm now resolved to be a much better person.

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