Monday, November 8, 2010

Mel is dead (just figuratively)

Sadly, Melonie was murdered tonight.  I sat down with my wife and we discussed the cross dressing.  For being a staunch liberal, she was less than understanding.  She didn't want to stifle me, but also made it perfectly clear that she doesn't want to be involved and that she finds it disgusting and that despite my pleadings otherwise, she worries that I'll turn gay.

She's otherwise a very caring and compassionate and understanding person.  But I understand this hits a bit close to home, so to speak.  If she revealed some quirk that would make her a social pariah if revealed publicly, and made me question our longevity together, I'd probably react the same way.

I'm not one to cry often (ever, really), but this is something that makes me very sad.  I had such fantasies of being dolled up like a pretty princess, and my best friend accepting me.  But, it seems it is not to be.

Strangely to me, she says she's ok with me wearing panties on occasion.  That's been a fun bedroom thing we've done lately, using inducing some playful spanking.  I don't understand how that's ok but going whole hog is not.  If dressing like a girl makes my wife uncomfortable, it takes the pleasure out of it for me and I don't want to do it.  I didn't promise I wouldn't (and my wife didn't ask me to), because I worry I couldn't keep the promise.  Sometimes, I really feel compelled to dress up.

I don't know where we go from here, but I feel like my wife and I are driving away, and I'm looking back through the rear window at Mel, crying by the side of the road, left in the dust.

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